Posts Tagged ‘web design’

Come To My House, And Design Websites For Free!

// July 18th, 2009 // No Comments » // Funny Job Listings

It goes without saying (or at least it SHOULD go without saying) that you shouldn’t just go to a strangers house to hang out for eight hours a day. Especially if that stranger expects you to work for free for three months.

From the listing:

I am start my internship program again in hopes to find and new person to train and later have work for my small business. This is a home business. We do web design and cumputer support and you will need to learn both to stary after the internship. The training is 3 months and PLEASE if you can’t do the training in 3 months or do with out pay for the 3 months DO not contact us. WE will no longer be training and paying interns to train them.

So this guy wants an “intern” to go to his house, and work for his “company” for THREE MONTHS without pay….. well….  that might be ok if he’s wealthy, and is planning on providing room and board for those three months.

Thanks to Michael B for the tip!

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Non Profit Organizations Are Still Supposed To Pay For Work!!

// July 3rd, 2009 // 1 Comment » // Funny Job Listings

There seems to be a lot of confusion about non-profit organizations and whether or not you should be paid for the work you do for them. First off, non-profits do bring in money, either through the sale of merchandise or services, or from the donations of people who believe in their cause. Before any of that money is redistributed to their cause of choice, the bills get paid, and everyone working there gets a paycheck. “OMG you’re blowing my mind!! Doesn’t non-profit mean they don’t make money??” No – it just means the primary goal of the organization is charity, not profit. Where as a regular company puts all the money left over after paying salaries and bills into their bank account, non-profits put that money into their cause of choice. Here’s a fine example of a company trying to play on the misconception that no one gets paid for working for a non-profit organization.

From the listing:

We are a very small non-profit that is trying to redo our website with the help of a template program. We are in need of a web designer or web design student to volunteer some time to help us get the site up and running. We’ve already begun and know what we want, we just need someone who can do it faster than we can and perhaps help with writing a little HTML. As a non-profit we cannot offer pay for the services but you may use the site in your portfolio and perhaps take advantage of using our facility or services. Looking to do this ASAP so let me know if you are interested.

Thanks!!

Now, let me be clear here – I don’t hate charity. If you believe in the cause a non-profit is pushing, then sure, donate some time or money to their cause. It’s fishy to see a listing like this that makes no mention of exactly what cause you’re supposed to be donating your time to. Maybe they’re a legitimate non-profit that just neglected to mention who they are or what they do, or maybe they’re a shady company taking some liberties with the definition of non-profit in an effort to get their site designed for free. Any time you’re considering donating some time to a non-profit, don’t hesitate to ask for documentation of their charitable work, and don’t be afraid to ask that your work be tracked while working for them – after all, if they’re legit, you might be able to get a tax write off for your time.

UPDATE: Thanks to a tip from Jim Lillicotch, and a little additional research, we’ve discovered that you can’t directly deduct time spent working for a non profit as a charitable donation, however, you MAY be able to deduct it as a business expense. Talk to an accountant before doing any volunteer work – it may ease your financial burdens when tax time comes around!

Thanks to Larry S. for the tip!

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Rating: 5.0/5 (3 votes cast)
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Build Four Or Five Blogs Today For Potential Income Tomorrow!

// July 2nd, 2009 // No Comments » // Funny Job Listings

Do you love to build Wordpress blogs? Do you spend your free time wishing you could be building a blog? Are you independently wealthy? Have I got the job for you!

From the listing:

If you are very skilled, and love to build Word Press Blogs – you may be just the right person for this incredible business opportunity!! We need to have 4 to 5 Blogs built. If you are entrepreneurial and want to work today for a great potential income in the near future, contact us and let us know about your interest.

  • Location: Marysville
  • it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
  • Compensation: no pay

So let me get this straight – I build you five blogs, and if by some chance you manage to monetize them, you’ll pay me sooner or later… sounds fun! It’s worth pointing out that, without relevant content, and a marketing budget, most websites will never reach a high volume of traffic. Those that do won’t see significant profits for at least six to eight months. If you’re willing to wait that long for a paycheck, then hey, this is the gig for you!

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Rating: 4.0/5 (4 votes cast)
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Honesty Is The Best Policy

// June 30th, 2009 // No Comments » // Funny Job Listings

A lot of employers dangle the promise of future profits, or a profit sharing plan over your head to entice you to work for free. At least this guy’s honest.

From the listing:

I need help creating a search engine on my website using php and mysql. Anyone that can help, please email me. I currently can not afford it, but could work something out.

He’s still a douchebag for expecting someone to work for him for free, but at least he’s an honest douchebag.

Thanks again to Josh D. for the tip!

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Rating: 4.5/5 (2 votes cast)
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Hey Web Designers, Share Our Vision, And Make Connections! Money? What’s That?

// June 30th, 2009 // No Comments » // Funny Job Listings

It would be pretty awesome if all you needed to get by in life was good vibes, and new friends. Unfortunately, you also need money.

From the listing:

Looking for a new website designer to partner with new web series, “The Organization”

www.watchtheorganization.com

Looking for someone who can share our vision with this partnership and creative outlet. This is about networking and hooking others up with others and connecting. This is about having a killer time, joining the revolution and living dreams! Please review the casting website for more details about the show. The pilot just finsihed filming and is now in post. Please e-mail

production@watchtheorganization.com

for more information. Looking across the gamut of experience. Most important is enjoying the vision, bringing your creative edge and passion along with ours.

Thank you!
We look forward to hearing from you.

Unless you’re going to connect me with a free place to live, and free food, don’t expect me to work for free.

Thanks to Josh D. for the tip!

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Rating: 4.5/5 (2 votes cast)
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Who Needs Money When You Could Get Paid In CD And DVD Related Products?

// June 29th, 2009 // 1 Comment » // Funny Job Listings

After the apocalypse, the world will be plunged into chaos. Cities will fall, panic will fill the streets, and civilization as we know it will come to an end. All hope is not lost though. Humanity has a way of carrying on, and carry on we will. From the remnants of our old society a new way of life shall spring forth. A society where CD’s and DVD’s will be used as currency. Each disc will equate to roughly $2.42 USD, and those with more disc based media will have the new world at their fingertips.

Too bad we live in a PRE-apacolypse  world where CD’s, DVD’s, and products related to them won’t put food on the table.

From the listing:

Looking for Web Developer with knowledge and/or interest in CD and DVD technologies. The page was taken down a few years ago. All source, content, graphics archived and existing but something lost in last backup. Need someone to check index and fix source and generally update to current standards. I supply the updated content, you fix and update the source (remove frames, some redesign, maximize pickup for crawlers, add code for advertising service(s), Ads by Google, maybe others) Ad experience a plus. Possibility for ongoing maintenance.

Telecommuting, some face to face meetings may be required, so need to be in greater Metro Denver area. Please attach resume and links to pages you have done.

Possible ad revenue sharing to be discussed in addition to compensation listed below.

  • Location: Greater Denver Metro – Telecommute
  • it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
  • Compensation: Latest CD and DVD hardware, software, recorders, players, other goodies from major manufacturers.

I’ll start work on your site immediately after the above mentioned apocalypse, assuming we both survive.

Thanks to Josh for the tip!

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Rating: 4.5/5 (2 votes cast)
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Do The Work Now, We’ll Pay You In The Fall….. Maybe

// June 27th, 2009 // No Comments » // Funny Job Listings

When looking for help with your website,  it’s best not to go around trumpeting your success, and then make the firm declaration that you can’t pay for work.

From the listing:

We are looking for a reliable PHP developer to help revamp and update a popular website designed for the Boulder area. We launched last February and the reaction has been incredible, far exceeding our expectations! By the end of the semester there were over 1,000 students visiting daily.

This summer we are working on expanding our project and updating the look of the site. We can not offer $ compensation at the moment, but we will be generating revenue starting in the fall. This website has already won a prestigious award, been mentioned on NPR’s “On Point”, and is well know within the community. Lots of opportunity for growth, and would make a strong addition to your portfolio. If you would like to learn more about this project shoot me an email.

Ohhh but you might have money in the fall…. well that’s different. I’ll do the work in the fall then…. when you can pay.

Thanks to Josh D. for the tip!

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Rating: 4.3/5 (3 votes cast)
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Loonie Web Design

// June 26th, 2009 // No Comments » // Funny Job Listings

You’d have to be “loonie” to respond to this ad:

I am trying to redo a very small site and have come up with this so far http://tenloonies.com/design.php

is there anyone who can help me the rest of the way. I am light on funds til after the first and even then
cant spare much. I need to spice it up a little. I love my logo and menu map so it would have to work around that.

Email me with a mock up and than we can talk.

Theme is Canadian Coffee-ish, colors are maroon (deep dark red like in logo), black and white.

Two things wrong here. First of all, that’s not how it works. You can’t just ask people to send you mock ups for nothing. You clearly can code a bit so why should anyone give you a design you can use for free? Secondly we don’t normally like to judge people’s business strategies, but why would anyone pay to display ads on their own site? Ads are supposed to make money. It’s kind of backwards.

Full Listing

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Rating: 4.7/5 (3 votes cast)
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Well If You Had the Money For Web Hosting…

// June 25th, 2009 // No Comments » // Funny Job Listings

It’s no secret that the economy sucks these days… a lot of people are job hunting or trying to pick up extra work. That’s why it’s so ridiculous to see posts like this one.

From the listing:

“NO PAY YOU CAN PUT YOUR BANNER FOR WEB DESIGN ON THE MAIN PAGE FOR THE LENGTH OF TIME THAT WE USE YOUR WORK IN EXCHANGE

I’m looking for someone who can take a free template and create my site for me I have already bought the domain and hosting. I plan on creating several sites and I would have no problem paying normally but I have fallen into hard times but I don’t want my purchase of this site name and hosting to be a waste. I expect to make profit off this site within the first 3 months at the latest if so I will have no problem paying for the next pages to be designed. Feel free to contact me with any questions at XXX.XXX.XXXX

Thanks Dustin

* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: no pay “

Please don’t use “I have fallen into hard times” as a justification for free work. You’re not special in that regard. It’s a shame you can’t afford to get your website designed. It’s an even bigger shame a web designer can’t get paid to design one.

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Rating: 5.0/5 (4 votes cast)
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Silly Designer, Websites Don’t Take Any Time

// June 25th, 2009 // No Comments » // Funny Job Listings

Designing a website takes a lot of time, and a lot of planning. The designer and the client discuss the various features that need to be implemented, and often revisions to the plan are made along the way. Due to the “back and forth” nature of web design, it can be very challenging to step into someone else’s work, get your bearings, and finish the job effectively….. but hey, you should be able to do that this Sunday afternoon. Shouldn’t cost more than $100, right?

From the listing:

Hello,
I am looking for a web designer to come out to my office in Woodbridge, Virginia this Sunday, June 28, 2009 at 12:30PM to help design two/three webpages for me. One of my designer is on leave and I need a temp to work with me on finishing the design work. I will pay up to $100 cash for your time. Please be knowledgeable with PHP, CSS, JQuery, and Javascript.

If you need someone on short notice, expect to pay a rush fee. Protip: it will definitely cost you more than $100.

Thanks to Larry S for the tip!

Full Listing

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Rating: 4.6/5 (5 votes cast)
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Web Design Job Listings

Web Design job listings and opportunities pop up more and more these days, but some job posters can be down right insulting. If you've got a decent web design resume then it's crazy to think you'd work for credit on some no-name website after hours of work. There are web design jobs out there if you can make it past the sea of crappy job postings... we hope.


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Our writing staff (okay, volunteers—you have to get PAID to be called staff) consists of 3 creative individuals and between us we’ve done just about everything from Concert Promoter, Graphic Designer, AutoCAD Drafter, Photographer, Web Designer, Firearms Instructor, Computer Repair Technician to even Gogo Dancer and Phone Sex Operator. So believe us when we say we know what a lot of jobs entail and what the pay scale and expectations should be.

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