Working Fail

I Can’t Pay You, But *Wink* *Wink*

// July 9th, 2009 // No Comments » // Funny Job Listings

Sure, we stress that you should ALWAYS get paid for your time, but Working Fail totally believes in barter when it’s a fair trade. But like… there are just certain lines you don’t cross…

“I have 2 computers that have spyware or something on them. My ex used to handle all of this stuff but he’s no longer welcome!
I need to hire someone (cute guy if possible, lol), to fix this pronto. I am out of work and need my laptop to find work. I can pay a little, but would prefer to offer services in trade :-O Please help!”

Okay, so is anyone else suspicious of what kind of service this woman is trading? What’s up with the “O” face and cute guy reference?

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Hey, At Least They’re Honest

// May 22nd, 2009 // No Comments » // Funny Job Listings

We come across a lot of listings for internships that aren’t really internships. No college credit is offered, no pay (or very little pay)  is offered, and the requirements are often ridiculous! So what sets this listing apart? They’re honest about the fact that you’re an intern in title only.

From the listing:

A small, potentially high growth cell phone accessory company seeks a summer intern who could potentially continue working thru the school year. The individual hired will learn the basics of running a small business: customer service, technical support, inventory management, invoicing, packaging, shipping, etc. A technical background is preferable, spanish language skills are helpful (not vital, but helpful), and a self-starter with a great and flexible attitude is a must. The title of this gig is intern, but you will be an integral part of the team, with as much responsibility as you can handle. If you’re interested, please contact us and we will tell you more!

• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Compensation: $10 an hour

So you’re looking for a bilingual “intern” with a strong technical background to be an integral part of the team….. you may want to consider offering more than $10 per hour. Hey, at least they lay it all out in the listing.

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Funniest Job Descriptions from Employees

// May 5th, 2009 // No Comments » // Funny Job Listings

Over at The Dilbert Blog they asked readers to describe their job in 1 sentence (in a funny and derogatory want).

Here’s what we had to say about some of our past jobs jobs:

Our Responses

• “Do something, show it to my boss, she makes 1 change and I let her pretend the whole thing was her idea.” – In-house Graphic Designer
• “Getting screamed at by strangers and called a freak.” – Costumed Sign Holder
• “Preventing weirdos from committing sex crimes.” – Illustrator (specializing in risque art)
• “Riling up drunks who wanted to hear music.” – Stand-Up Comedian
• “Constantly explain the need for my services to people who’ve already purchased them.” – Freelance Graphic Designer
• “Doing what engineers could do themselves if they’d bother to learn how to use the software.” – CAD Designer
• “Making people look the way others don’t see them.” – Photo Retouch Artist
• “Pretending that I know what I’m talking about.” – Copywriter for Gadget Site
• “Helping people exchange what they bought for what I told them they should have bought last week.” – Retail
• “When chumps break it, I fix it.” – Computer Repair Tech
• “Free babysitter for vacationers.” – Lifeguard at Resort

Here are some the responses from The Dilbert Blog:

Education

• “I copy and paste the Internet.” – Student
• “I get paid to teach your kids enough to complain, but not enough to make a difference.” – College teacher
• “I find ways of doing nothing faster and more efficiently.” – Student
• “I lie to impressionable teenagers that language skills are vital to their lives.” – High School English Teacher
• “My job is to talk in other people’s sleep.” – College professor.
• “Watching the lunatics take over the asylum.” *Teacher.
• “I take your children, puncture their idealism, fill their brains full of theoretical nonsense, and turn them into your employees.” – College Teacher
• “I make sure no child is left behind, even if they should be.” – Teacher
• “I tell people who don’t care about things that don’t matter.” – Teacher

Service & Retail

• “My job is to be as aggressively unhelpful as possible.” – Guest Service Rep
• “My job is to lie to people. Day in Day out.” – Sales & Business Development
• “My job is to go to strange peoples houses and take their money…” – Pizza Delivery
• “My job is to sell gluttony.” – Movie Theatre Snack Clerk
• “It’s my job to pull meat.” – Sandwich Maker

(more…)

Twice The Work For Half The Pay!

// May 4th, 2009 // No Comments » // Funny Job Listings

I do some freelance IT work for several local businesses, and at $25 per hour, I’m the cheapest solution in town. Keep in mind that I’m neither a software engineer, nor a web designer. I’m just the guy that comes in, sets up the hardware, sets up the software, and leaves. Just think, you could do all of that, and so much more for $10 per hour!

From the listing:

Part-time computer assistant needed. I run several small businesses from two offices in my home in West chandler. I have a partner who oversees everything that has to do with computers. I have a part-time computer guru that comes in a few times a week to do the actual work. He deals with hardware, software, networking, internet and lots of other tech issues. I’m looking for a second part-time worker. Days and hours are flexible. You can even work on weekends. $10 an hour to start, paid daily.

• Location: West Chandler
• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Compensation: $10 an hour

Also, what kind of shady, fly-by-night operation pays daily?

Thanks to Alan D. for submitting this gem!

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