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Craiglist Job Posters – What They Say VS What They Mean

// May 1st, 2009 // Funny Job Listings


thumbtackIf you’ve ever tried to answer a job listing on Craiglist, then you’ll understand the employers and job posters don’t always mean exactly what they say… this chart is meant to help you weed through the posts that just aren’t worth answering!

What Job Listings Say

What They Mean
“Intern” No pay
“Students Wanted” No pay or very little pay
“Freelancers Wanted” We don’t want to pay you
“Exciting new business!” I have no clue what I’m doing
dollarsigns
“You’ll get 50% of the profits!” I have no money
“You’ll get 50% of the profits if you illustrate my book.” I don’t understand how publishing a book works and I don’t realize that the publisher uses their own illustrators.
“I’m looking for a partner.” I have no money, but I do have a crappy idea.
lappy
“You must bring your own laptop and software.” We don’t care if that copy of Photoshop is illegal, we don’t want to buy it ourselves and we’re only paying you peanuts anyway.
“Great Opportunity.” No Pay
“Great for a portfolio.” No Pay
Negotiable Lowest bid gets the gig.
“$30,000 – $35,000 based on experience” $28,000
I would do it myself, but I don’t have the time” I have no idea how to do this, but I don’t want to pay you much.
clock
“This should only take you an hour.” I’m only willing to pay you for an hour, so I’m going to insult you into feeling like it should only take an hour.
comicbook
“I’m a writer working on a comic book and need an artist…”     I have no money and I smell bad.
house
“You’ll be working out of my home office…” I’m going to rape your face.
“We are a new up and coming company…” There’s no we. It’s just me and I don’t have any money.
“In-house freelance gig” We don’t want to pay benefits, but aren’t willing to give anything up for it. Also, be prepared to be the office outcast… remember, you don’t actually work here.
“Job is paid after it is completed.” Yeah, sure, we’ll pay you when it’s done, but it’s hard to say when it’s really “done” ya know?
allcaps
“WE SEEKING MOTIVATED EXPERIENCED OFFICE ASSISTANT WHO MEET DEADLINES…” WE JUST WANT TO COLLECT EMAIL ADDRESSES FOR SPAM. OR MAYBE I’M REALLY JUST A DOUCHEBAG WHO YELLS ALL THE TIME. EITHER WAY ENGLISH IS NOT GOOD.
“I need a tutor to teach me a program or skill” I don’t want to go to college or get an aprentiship because I’m lazy. Let me learn everything there is to know in a 1 hour lesson so I can compete with you in your field.
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Rating: 4.5/5 (12 votes cast)
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6 Responses to “Craiglist Job Posters – What They Say VS What They Mean”

  1. Scotto says:
    May 1, 2009 at 4:04 pm

    Classic. And sadly…oh so accurate.

    VA:F [1.5.1_770]
    Rating: 2.5/5 (2 votes cast)
    Reply
  2. These Kind of Listings Are Why We Do This Folks! | Working Fail says:
    May 2, 2009 at 5:13 am

    [...] Scotto said:  Classic. And sadly…oh so accurate…. [...]

    Reply
  3. Tim says:
    May 8, 2009 at 8:44 pm

    “I’m going to rape your face.”

    HaHaHaHa

    VA:F [1.5.1_770]
    Rating: 3.0/5 (2 votes cast)
    Reply
  4. What Should I Do When A Stranger Gives Me An Address, And Promises Me $60 For A Half Hour Of My Time? | Working Fail says:
    May 22, 2009 at 9:34 am

    [...] Craiglist Job Posters – What They Say VS What They Mean [...]

    Reply
  5. Tanya says:
    June 21, 2009 at 9:02 am

    Ugh..Craig’s List should be called the Beggar’s List. Everybody wants something for free. I had 3 offers from there to put up some websites, one guy wanted extensive work done, disappeared for 3 months only to contact me again and want to pay $45 (for all sites not each) for SEO on his 4 existing sites which where poorly built to begin with. Unbelievable, I told him no thank you…goodbye..find some other sucker. :)

    VA:F [1.5.1_770]
    Rating: 5.0/5 (1 vote cast)
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  6. Said Atala says:
    August 2, 2009 at 8:14 am

    Enlightening stuff, my friend. By the way, can you spare some change?

    VA:F [1.5.1_770]
    Rating: 5.0/5 (1 vote cast)
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Our writing staff (okay, volunteers—you have to get PAID to be called staff) consists of 3 creative individuals and between us we’ve done just about everything from Concert Promoter, Graphic Designer, AutoCAD Drafter, Photographer, Web Designer, Firearms Instructor, Computer Repair Technician to even Gogo Dancer and Phone Sex Operator. So believe us when we say we know what a lot of jobs entail and what the pay scale and expectations should be.

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